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Movie Review: Battleship (2012)

Movie title: Battleship

Release date: May 18th 2012 (US)

Overall rating:  3 1/2 stars (Big up to Rihanna, great job for your first movie role).

To set aside the fact  that this is Rihanna’s first major film role, I’d actually honestly say that she did a superb job as a bad-ass female who displayed an unhinged ability with weilding a gun. (most action females can’t, minus maybe Angelina Jolie).

Like most action movies, Battleship begins sort-of-slow (usually where most, like myself, ended up texting until the eye-catching scenes started playing. The movie itself is almost identical (presumably based off of a game owned by Hasbro) who has already knowingly made millions from their Transformers and G.I Joe franchises.

Rihanna, probably being the highlight of the movie, considering the other characters were almost-like-mouses scampering around the screen trying to avoid the things going ‘boom’, while RiRi herself (aboard the USS John Paul Jonespreferred to grab the nearest gun and make things go ‘Ba-ba-boom’.

All the while, that peticular ship is one of three that had been left stranded inside a force field after a gigantous fleet of alien spaceships decided to interrupt a testosterone exercise, I mean, muscle exercise between the Japaneese & American soldiers on the other end of the ship, just off the coast of Hawaii.

The super-freaky-looking extraterrestrials were summoned nonetheless by an exploratory signlan that sent things depths-deep into space. Although the curious creatures come-off as nothing more than curious-creatures instead of weapon-weilding tongue slithering monsters,  the trigger-happy Navy engages and enters the battleship, wait, I mean battlefield.

Alex Hopper (Kitsch) is the ‘bad-ass’ loose-canner lieutenant that   graciously took the credit for saving the world from what one character solemnly dubs “an extinction-level threat’.  He almost resembles a modern-day hippie in high school, long-haired, and slightly a slacker, but surely cleaned up his act and joined the Navy after an ultimatum from his straightforward captain brother, Stone. (Alexander Skarsgard).

Alex, of course, is still  hot-headed, which gets him into-a-world-of-trouble with the grouchy Admiral Crane (Liam Neeson, totally a paycheck role( the father of his pessimistic fiancee, Samanta (Brooklyn Decker). Samantha, who doesn’t actually really-sort-of-use-any-weapons (minus a few parts) has her own calling for saving the world. Sam is a therapist back on the main island, where she teams up with a double-amputee war hero (real-life Iraq Vet Gregory D Gadson) and a comic-relief comm geek (Hamish Linklater) to prevent the ET’s from phoning home (insert quirky reference to iconic 90’s film here).

Kitsch, who was fresh off from  the  super-flop John Carter, soft pedals the charm, eduding the right amount of charisma to get by. The always good-looking Skarsgard (True Blood) is straightforwardly grave, and impossibly sexy, while Decker’s expression toggles between that lost blonde chick, and shit, hand me a gun before I die.

There was and is arguably stiff competition comparing this to other franchises like Transformers?, although after about the first two movies of that specific franchise, I must admit I did get bored as the storyline sort-of waned.

Battleship hits U.S theaters on May 18th. Be sure to check it out.

 

 

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9 Responses

  1. I really can’t wait to see this. It sucks that we have to wait so long, and freaking Australia got it last month -_- Rihanna looks bad!!

    • SM got to see it before any of us did so we’re not sure how to grade it yet. The rest of us get to see it on Sunday, so we’ll be sure to share every review. I’m sure it’s great though, who doesn’t love Skarsgard & Rihanna? 😀

  2. The previews for this look better than some of the others I’ve seen out lately. My bro who lives in Australia said the movie was pretty good for being RiRi’s first film role. So I’m def gonna go c it when it comes out.

    Lucky asses, every freaking cool movie you guys always have the first review. 😦 I need to get a job on a celebrity blog LOL

  3. @Yo that shouldn’t be much of a shock by now. They pretty stablished and have the ticket to demand to c any movie they please. Did u c Xavier on the red carpet for the movie about dogs or w/e he’s maddd effin cute!

  4. Who is ‘Social Moderator’? ?

  5. @Colin I think that’s Bradley? I ono. I don’t think that’s somebody we’re ‘suppose to know about’. There’s another one on here called ‘The Mod’ and ‘TVFANATIC’ too… I think they r all just people who write anonymously.

  6. As somebody whose already seen ittt I cn say this review is on point. Rihanna was bad-ass !

  7. Thank god yall took off that annoying moderation shit. Now we can actually discuss! Let’s talk Skarsgard his finnnne ass. For a white dude I’d let him hit! LOL

  8. Did you guys not like the moderation? Are you happier with being able to openly discuss?

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